SUBLIMINAL FRIDAY: Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I've been sent by your owner to clarify a few things. First of all, please know, she thinks of you often and wishes you nothing but the best. [What-ev]. She knows you've been confused by her sporadic postings, and apologizes profusely. [The only thing she does profusely is eat chocolate.] She hopes people click on your fascinating links and are touched by the [brilliant] words she has [thoughtfully] written. [Time, she adds, that could've been better spent eating, napping, and/or watching Oprah.]

She's sure you read the posts she [painstakingly] writes, so you probably realize her life has been a bit bumpy of late. Hence, the undependable blog postings. Yes, you should feel sorry for her [send Raisinets], but no you shouldn't move in with her and help with the laundry. [Yes, you should.]

If you need her, she's here for you. [She'll be gone 'til Monday.] Feel free to call, text, FB, or Twitter her. She promises to [have her imaginary secretary] get back to you ASAP [if and when she feels like it].

Anyway, enough about her, how's life been treating you? Good? That's great! [Snoring.]

Oh, and one more thing. Your owner told me to tell you she'll be back to regular blogging one day soon. [Is 2015 soon?] She also said she loves you very much and is proud of all you've accomplished. [She never said that.]

So, dear blog, hang in there and know your owner loves you. [It's true. She does.]

Love always times a billion trillion gazillion times infinity,

Your Owner's BFF,
Amelia Genevieve Simone Bardot

[A dead ringer for the love child of George Clooney and Angelina Jolie.] [BWAHAHAHA!!!!]

You have read this article Anchorman / Angelina Jolie / George Clooney / Stay Classy San Diego with the title Angelina Jolie. You can bookmark this page URL https://loriescorner.blogspot.com/2010/10/subliminal-friday-dear-blog.html. Thanks!

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: More Fun Than Brad & Angie on the Set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith [PSYCHE!]

I did it, folks - I finished the 3rd draft of my YA novel! Could you possibly be more excited? No, I didn't think so. [Moving trash cans to the curb would be more exciting. Watching the grass grow would be far more exciting. Getting a root canal would be practically thrilling.] It is such a great feeling, almost as good as [sorry, folks, trying to keep this G-rated]. I will read through my ms one more time before I send it off to Awesome Agent (AA) and hope she loves it as much as I love my five-month old niece, Devyn from Heaven. [Will send 80% dark chocolate offerings to the gods in hopes she doesn't realize what a ghastly mistake she's made.].

Once I send it off to her, I'll dive right into the follow-up like a good writer [go on a week-long shopping spree and play countless games of spider solitaire.] I'm hoping the major edits are behind me, but that's not my call, now is it? [I'm begging you, AA - remember that Coach bag we talked about?]

As long as Mother Nature cooperates and doesn't bring another snowstorm to the Northeast, I will be meeting AA in NYC on Thursday. [Mother Nature's a selfish hussy. I mean, isn't two feet in one week enough for her insatiable appetite? In her case, apparently size does matter. ] I'm bringing my Flip camera and will film us having more fun than Brad and Angie on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. [PSYCHE! Get your minds out of the gutter, people, sheesh!] We will, however, do our best to whip up some enlightening publishing tips for your vlog-viewing pleasure. It's sure to be a monumental literary experience. [Will try not to get drunk and dance on the table. SO not a good look.]

And, here's the best part: List your questions for AA in the comment section, and she may answer them in person! Yes, that's right folks - you may get to see AA answer your questions live and in person on my next vlog. Aren't I amazing? [Um, no. AA's amazing. You, on the other hand, are a pitiful cross between boring and pathetically self-involved.]

You have read this article Angelina Jolie / Awesome Agent / Brad Pitt / Gucci / Saints with the title Angelina Jolie. You can bookmark this page URL https://loriescorner.blogspot.com/2010/02/subliminal-monday-more-fun-than-brad.html. Thanks!