I've Come to the Sea or What I Learned on my Autumn Vacation

I had one goal while in Mexico: to leave the past behind and get on with my life. And, I'm happy to report, I achieved my goal.

To sum it up, let me start by saying that when I was around 20 years old, I created a "safe song," meaning whenever I'd hear a song in my head that I hated, I'd replace it with a particular song I loved. It was a way to reprogram my mind. (As a musician, hearing music I don't like is like rubbing salt in an open wound times a thousand. Painful doesn't begin to describe it.) The wonderful song I chose to replace the bad one with was, "Friends" from Led Zeppelin's third album:

I'm tellin' you, now
The greatest thing you ever can do, now
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue, now
It's very easy, it's very easy

Before my vacation, I was watching Jenny McCarthy on Oprah. (Stick with me, I swear this will all come together.) When asked about how she was doing after her split from Jim Carrey, she said, "I've learned so many great lessons. One is, I'm the total hot fudge sundae. If a great guy comes along, then it's like I've got extra whipped cream and hot fudge, but it's not necessary. I'm a complete sundae all by myself." (Or words to that effect.)

That stuck with me, and when I was in Mexico, I was having a conversation with my sister, Laurie, about my "safe song" and the Jenny M. interview.

"You need a safe word!" she said, referring to how my mind kept obsessing about my recent situation. "How about hot fudge sundae?"

And, there it was. Hot Fudge Sundae. Transformation.

Now, every time I go to that dark place I think, "Hot fudge sundae!" (HFS) and snap myself out of debilitating, life-sucking thoughts and back into the present and my infinite blessings. (If you're in a "stuck" place in life, figure out what your HFS is. Trust me, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself.)

Here are a couple of clips from Cabo. The first was taken on our last day there. Laurie and I were sitting by one of the four, magnificent pools at the resort and she was interviewing me about what I got out of the trip. (Now you'll understand the HFS reference!) The second is a poem I wrote while staring out at the sea from my balcony. Again, it's my beautiful sister, Laurie, behind the camera. The lyrics are posted just below the link, and the picture is of a rock we named, "Lion Rock," which is referenced in the poem.

(This is a picture of Laurie and I. I'll be posting more pics from the trip on my FB page if you're interested.)

Here goes:

What I Learned on My Autumn Vacation

I've Come to The Sea

I’VE COME TO THE SEA
I’ve come to the sea to see about me
To feel my great power, to set myself free
I’ve come to the sea to hear the waves moan
To wrap me inside them and bring me back home
I’ve come to the sea where my spirits can dance
On white crests of heaven, on Lion Rock’s past

I’ve come to the sea to leave deep parts behind
Parts that are tainted and haunting my mind
I’ve come to the sea where my heart comes alive
To see through to truth so my soul may survive
I’ve come to the sea where the mystic waves reign
And the magic chants whisper a love I can’t name

I come to the sea where the sun and clouds meet
Rejoice in their majesty, make me complete
I come to the sea when my heart is in pain
A breath that is ancient restores me again
I come to the sea where my soul’s angels fly
And my heart, it is healing, through wondrous tides

I come to the sea to feel myself soar
Awaken my core as the waves kiss the shore
I come to the sea where I find life again
Sand castles beckoning suffering’s end
I come to the sea, on my spirits I call
They hold me up high upon nothing at all

I come to the sea where my soul beats its drum
To a rhythm of tides that cannot come undone
I come to the sea to find much that I’ve lost
To remind me to sing my own song at all costs
I come to the sea to sleep peaceful and calm
To hear the sea’s wisdom, be rocked in its arms

I come to the sea where my mind is at peace
Waves whisper, “Let go, let your soul be released”
I’ve come to the sea where my heart is on fire
Dancing a tango of love and desire
I come to the sea to find truth in a wave
And feel magical, passionate light shine my way

I come to the sea to feel cleansed and complete
To see I am all that I ever will need
I’ve come to the sea where my family dwells
In their vision and warmth I am perfectly held
I’ve come to the sea to let go of the nights
That are holding me back, choking me tight
I’ve come to the sea so at home I can start
To give my love freely to those in my heart
I’ve come to the sea where my joy comes alive
For the sea is the place I’ve adored for all time

JCK. 10.3.10

You have read this article Jim Carrey / Led Zeppelin / Mexico / transformation with the title Jim Carrey. You can bookmark this page URL https://loriescorner.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-come-to-sea-or-what-i-learned-on-my.html. Thanks!

Twetiquette

The lovely and talented Jody Hedlund had a great post recently that got me thinking: what is proper etiquette on Twitter, aka, Twetiquette!

First of all, a quick look at my journey into Twitterville. From the first moment I heard of Twitter, I was dead-set against it. Who needs another form of social networking? Not me, that's for sure! For [not] the first time in my life, I was dead wrong. Last June I went kicking and screaming into heaven.

As some of you know, I partially [totally] owe my finding agent representation to Twitter. Awesome Agent aka Bernadette Baker-Baughman of Baker's Mark Literary Agency liked the back and forth banter we were engaged in on Twitter, checked out my blog, and the rest, as they say, is history.

There are many different reasons people fly the bird [not to be confused with "give the bird"] to Twitterville, but most go to find people who share common interests. For the purpose of this post, I'll limit my discussion to the writing community, since that's the one I'm most familiar with. (I dabble in politics on Twitter, but that's a whole 'nother conversation!)

So, what's acceptable and what's not? Here's my take.

DISCLAIMER: These are MY OPINIONS only. (Spoiler Alert!) You may love spouting the "eff" word in Twitterland, and no one can/will stop you. They may unfollow you, but they can't stop you. Why? There are no hard and fast rules in Twitterville.

Let's start with what IS acceptable:

1) Be positive!
Give encouragement and acknowledge the accomplishments of yourself and others. Spread the cheer.

2) Be informative.
Tweet and retweet things that matter to the writing community. Examples include new agent announcements, Publisher's Marketplace articles, pub dates for yourself and others, and links to other writer's blog posts you find interesting (hint, hint). What you find interesting, others probably will, too.

3) Direct Message.
Direct Messages, or DM's, will be seen by your eyes and the eyes of who you are tweeting only. It's basically an email. Use DM's when you have something to say that is private, or if you're having a conversation and you don't want to "bother" all of the Twitosphere with it. Not everyone needs/wants to hear everything you have to say.

4) Tweet News, etc.
Earthquakes, election results, publishing-related news, music, TV shows, pictures of your cat, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey breaking up - things of utmost importance that no one can go another minute without knowing. These are all appropriate to tweet. People like to be informed and entertained.

5) Updates on Your Progress.
It's fine to tweet updates on your writing progress such as word counts, agent representation, if you're on submission, book sales, interviews, etc. Just don't overdo it. Twitter isn't your personal stage. It's a community.

6) Bring on the Funny.
Jokes, You Tube videos, and back and forth banter are all okay. Just keep in mind different people have different ideas of what funny is. I, for one, don't think passing gas, in any context, is funny. But that's just me. Obviously many people feel otherwise. Laughter is the best medicine. Let's keep each other healthy!

7) Be Polite.
Say please, and especially, thank you. As in life, there are many opportunities on Twitter to show your gratitude. Don't hold back. Let people know you appreciate them and their many talents. Building people up is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Public acknowledgment is a beautiful thing.

What NOT to do on Twitter:

1) No Whiners.
Do not whine, at least, not excessively. We all have our bad days, and it's okay to request support every now and then. But if you complain frequently about your life circumstances, you may find yourself losing followers. No one likes whiners!

2) Use DM's for Self-Promotion or Welcoming New Followers.
The only thing more annoying than spambots are people who DM to tell you of their new blog posts and pub dates or who "welcome" you as a new follower and "invite" you to go to their website or blog. This is TOTALLY ANNOYING! Use DM's for personal conversations you are sure other people want to have. Period!

3) Language.
Keep your curse words to a minimum. The "eff" word is, for the most part, inappropriate on Twitter, though clearly not everyone agrees. Curse words, in general, are not necessary. I'm not prude, I was born in Brooklyn and raised on Long Island. However, you take a big chance of offending folks if your language is often sprinkled with profanity. You've only got 140 characters. Why be raunchy?

4) Dissing Others.
Never, ever, EVER dis someone on Twitter. If you've got a personal gripe, find some other way to deal with it. Of course, this doesn't include truly evil people like the KKK, Neo-Nazis, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Sarah Palin. They deserve all the grief they get. Be kind to others, otherwise, you're the one who ends up looking like the fool.

5) Bodily Functions.
We're not doctors and nurses, we're writers, agents, and editors. Keep the bodily functions to yourselves, whether they're you're kids or your own. (This expounds upon previous "passing gas" comment.) This definitely falls under the category of TMI. No one wants to be grossed out!

6) Just Say "No" to ALL CAPS & EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need I say more?

7) Don't Twitter Stalk.
Don't stalk people on Twitter. It's probably illegal and just plain weird. We all have our faves, but give people space. The world doesn't need any more paparazzi!

So, folks, there you have it. Twetiquette by Debra L. Schubert. Here's the Cliff Notes version:

Do's:

• There are no hard and fast rules in Twitterville.
• Spread the cheer.
• What you find interesting, others probably will, too.
• Not everyone needs/wants to hear everything you have to say.
• People like to be informed and entertained.
• Twitter isn't your personal stage. It's a community.
• Laughter is the best medicine. Let's keep each other healthy!
• Public acknowledgment is a beautiful thing

Don'ts:

• No one likes whiners!
• Use DM's for personal conversations you are sure other people want to have. Period!
• You've only got 140 characters. Why be raunchy?
• Be kind to others, otherwise, you're the one who ends up looking like the fool.
• No one wants to be grossed out!
• Just Say "No" to ALL CAPS & EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• The world doesn't need any more paparazzi!

What did I miss? What are your likes and dislikes on Twitter?

You have read this article Ann Coulter / etiquette / Jenny McCarthy / Jim Carrey / Rush Limbaugh / Sarah Palin / Twetiquette / Twitter with the title Jim Carrey. You can bookmark this page URL https://loriescorner.blogspot.com/2010/04/twetiquette.html. Thanks!

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: Moving Forward or Avoiding a Series of Unfortunate Events

All we can do in life is move forward, right? I mean, it's hard to move backwards, unless you're doing the backstroke in a pool on vacation in Cancun. [Which sadly, I'm not.]

So, what are you moving towards? Wealth? Fame? Happiness? A thinner waist? A nicer house? A better car? The invention of fat-free chocolate? [If so, I love you, and for God's sake, hurry up!]

I'm moving towards publication. I'm committed to getting the YA novel I'm working on sold this year, hopefully before the end of the summer. [No pressure, AA.] I've had the goal to be published since I first declared myself a "serious" writer in 1995. At that point, my writing wasn't quite up to par. [Okay, it sucked. Big time. Hugely. Was laughable. It was horrific. Really. Super bad. The worst.] So, what did I do? I kept writing. And writing. And writing. [Good God, we get the picture. You don't need to write the same thing over, and over, and over, and over again for us to get it. We're not idiots. Sheesh!]

Don't get me wrong, I'm no writing robot. I did plenty of other things besides writing over the past 15 years. Here's the short-list:

• I wrote lots of songs; [Selfish, angsty lyrics = BORING!]
• Survived my honey's medical school and residency; [Had his pic by my bed so I'd remember what he looked like.]
• Ate lots of good, healthy food; [Mostly chocolate, gained 10 pounds]
• Raised my sons; [Do you see the gray?]
• Moved from Colorado to Connecticut to Pennsylvania; [I'm Sagittarius. We love to travel];
• Went on four cruises; [See previous SM]
• Went from a Pontiac Grand Am to a Nissan Altima to a Hyundai Santa Fe to a Lexus RX300 and back to a Nissan Altima; [I heart cars. My next one? A baby blue, 2-door Mercedes. Again, no pressure AA.]
  
• Settled into my dream house; [cookie-cutter McMansion in the burbs that I pretend is a real mansion]
• Became a slave to six, feline captors. [It's true. Here's the proof. Here's more proof.]

All the while, I kept checking back in with LITTLE PEARLS, adding bits and pieces to my semi-autobiographical comedic masterpiece,[NOT!] editing it to within an inch of its life. This work, no matter how strange or discombobulated [use "discombobulated" in a sentence - CHECK!] started me on my "professional" writing journey. [If you're ever sneaking through my computer files, promise you won't read it. If you do, you'll be sorry. That's all I'm going to say.] [Threatening people on the internet is a federal crime. Of course, so is sneaking through other peoples' computer files. Think about it.]

Along the way, I had my moments. I sent my first queries in 2002. The next time you're drunk, text me and I'll send you one of these queries. You. Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Stop. Laughing. [Not sure why I wrote that last sentence in separate words. Must be my muse's fault.] In fact, it might kill you. You think, "I died laughing" is just a phrase? That's because you've never read one of my original queries. [It will kill you, and it won't be pretty. It'll be funny, but not pretty.]

A bigger publishing thrill happened [on the way to the Forum] when I met Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, at a charity event. I have pictures, but I'm afraid if I publish them, he'll sue me. I thought it might be my big break. Instead, I created my own Series of Unfortunate Events.

Like an idiot, I handed him my incoherent manuscript in all it's incoherent glory. [Did I mention it was incoherent?] He sent me a thank you card, no doubt after having the biggest belly-laugh of his life [and he's friends with Jim Carrey, so that's saying something]. Because, trust me when I say, the full ms was like, ohmygod, a bazillion times funnier than the query and, like I said, reading the query, you could easily die laughing. [Um, yeah, I think we've covered that.] Shockingly, nothing ever came of it. If I ever meet him again, I'll wear dark sunglasses and say my name is Cecelia Fernandez. [He must never know it was me. Never, do you hear me, never!]

The good news is, all that work on LITTLE PEARLS eventually resulted in my completing three non-discombobulated [use "non-discombobulated" in a sentence - CHECK!] novels and work on two more. Now, I'm moving forward in my quest for publication. I'm excited, nervous, and even a bit proud. [Pats self on back.]

After all, moving confidently in the direction of your dreams is a big part of what makes life kick some serious bootay.

[Thanks, H.D. Thoreau. I couldn't have said it better myself.]

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