HOME AWAY FROM HOMEMy time in Denver, my glorious home away from home, is winding down. I will be back in the suburbs of Philly on Thursday night. It has been such a treat to be here and to spend time w/my mom, dad, the rest of my family, and some very special friends. My mom is such a trooper! I can only hope I've inherited some of her gutsy DNA so when it comes time to face whatever challenges may arise, I will greet them with dignity, humor, and the sure knowledge that I'll blast through them and be an even stronger person on the other side. Mom - you truly are my hero!
OK, now for some politics...
EPIPHANY
I had an epiphany this week. Not only are some of my best friends back in Philly Republicans, but some of my best friends from Denver and Kansas ("There's no place like home!") are as well. Who knew? Dorothy, maybe, but not me. I figure this is probably because I scared them away with my left-wing vitriol (or, at least, I tried). I do hope they know that I love them anyway, political faults and all.
CRAZY NEIGHBOR ALERT!
We have crazy, fundamentalist, right-wing Republican neighbors who are as loony as George Bush, Ann Coulter and OJ Simpson combined. I added the OJ part because not only is this guy a crazy right-wing nut job, but he's violent as well. (BTW: he's a surgeon, which just goes to show that education does not equal intelligence. And, like OJ, he likes to play with knives.) Apparently, some smart person stole his two highly visible McCain/Palin signs off of his front yard. Too bad, so sad. So to compensate, he put his Bush/Cheney '04 sign (that he'd apparently had framed and hanging in his living room) in his yard with a handwritten note that stated, "I believe in freedom of speech, unlike you liberal pussysh*ts." How eloquent. And in a neighborhood filled with little kids who know how to read. When my 16-year old son stopped his car in front of their house to read the handwritten sign, Dr. P and his gorgeous yet arguably sociopathic wife came outside and started barraging my son into admitting that he or someone in our psychotic left-wing, liberal pussysh*t family was responsible for this vicious crime. Oh, and did I mention Dr. P was carrying a baseball bat? During the last election they accused Chuck and I of paying our kids to uproot Bush signs. How lame is that? Why would we pay them when they were perfectly willing to do it for free? Anyway, my son told him he had nothing to do with it, drove straight home, and told my husband who immediately called the cops. The cop came out, spoke to my husband and son, went down the street and spoke to Dr. Psycho (in case you're wondering what the "P" was for), and then went back to our house and basically said there was nothing he could do. After all, it's not illegal to be yelling at someone while holding a baseball bat unless you're directly threatening them with it and there are witnesses to prove it. Otherwise, he may have just stepped outside for an innocent game of baseball when my son drove up. After all, the Phillies are in the playoffs. Maybe he just caught the fever. Ah, suburban life! I can hardly wait to get home...
IT'S DEBATE TIME AGAIN, KIDS!
Tomorrow night will be the third and, thankfully, final presidential debate. (Too bad, really, because another VP battle would have been so much more entertaining!) McCain is going down in flames, however, there are still three weeks left for the Republican machine to pull a vicious, lying rabbit out of their deceptive hat. Desperation breeds insanity, and we've seen some pretty insane comments from McCain, Palin & Co. over the past week or two. Obama is apparently palling around with domestic terrorists and gets a major hard-on at the thought of raising all of our taxes. Oh, yeah, and he really is a Muslim. Boy, throw that together and who would vote for such a loser? Me, that's who. And, hopefully, 55% or so of all voting Americans. I hope that three weeks from today I will be writing about Obama's overwhelming victory and, therefore, an overwhelming victory for America.
As McCain would say it, "Remember, my friends, I love you regardless of religion, political party or race (well maybe not race.) We have to fight, fight, fight, my friends, to get America back on track! I promise, my friends, I'll start doing something completely different than I've been doing for the past 22 years. Or wait, my friends, maybe I won't. Because, I almost forgot, that even though my illustrious running mate was just found guilty of abusing her power as Governor of Alaska (where she can see Russia from her house!), we have been and always will be MAVERICKS!"
My new bumper sticker says, "I'm Voting for That One!"
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