Securing an Agent is Child's Play...NOT!

Great news for us mystery/thriller/suspense writers over at the wonderful blog, Pimp My Novel.

I have many wonderful attributes (must you look so confused?), but the big ones I'm missing are PATIENCE and NOT BEING IN CONTROL. I blame both of these glaring defects on my Brooklyn-born DNA. Tests show it's physically impossible to be born in Brooklyn and be a patient person who doesn't care about being in control. Freaks like that simply don't exist. Or they do, but they're immediately banned to Staten Island.

So, what do I do? I choose a career path that is wholly based on patience and my having absolutely no control over anything. Pure genius.

I'm finding the whole "getting an agent" game to be eerily similar to what my mom used to tell me in college, I mean, middle school. "Chase the boys until they catch you!" I'm doing the chasing now in hopes that some brilliant, talented, visionary agent will catch me! My mom also said once they "catch" you, you need to play "hard to get." Really? What should I say when I get that call?

Hi, Dream Agent. Why don't you have your girl call my girl?


Leave it after the beep. I'm lunching with my therapist.


I'll think about it and get back to you during the next Perseid Meteor Shower.


Tag! You're it!
Then hang up the phone.

Also, there are like a gazillion more writers than agents, so securing said visionary agent is like playing a gigantic game of Musical Chairs. Every time the music stops, which is pretty much continuously, some poor sod of a writer gets kicked out of the game. And, I've been told, agents giggle. Some even clap. Harsh, wouldn't you say?

So, here I wait. Patiently. Having no control whatsoever over the situation, other than writing and querying and silently selling my soul to the publishing gods for a buck forty nine.

Of course, my beloved blog and Twitter make the days go by faster and keep my mind off the cruel game these dastardly agents play. But, really, how much peeking in on Ashton Kutcher or tweeting about my angst and desires can a girl do in one day before she gets bored out of her mind and wants to hang herself from the nearest DSW shoe store? (I mean, if you're going to go, you may as well go in a new pair of Manolos, right?)

And, I'm working on my new WIP, MURDER ON SONGBIRD LANE and having more fun than a gal alone in her bedroom with six cats should have. But still...

What about you? How do you bide your time while waiting for THE CALL? Or, for those of you who've received THE CALL and are waiting to hear about your submissions, how do you distract your overactive minds???
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